Actual conversation word for word.

Changed my friends name to 'myfriend' that’s all.

[MyFriend] I think I’m growing...
[MyFriend] I hope...
[MyFriend] but..
[MyFriend] we'll see...
[MyFriend] I had a lot of help along the way
[KedarWolf] not me...
[KedarWolf] very little..
[KedarWolf] alone...
[KedarWolf] hiding..
[MyFriend] well, you just have to stop living in that head of yours....lol
[KedarWolf] I think I am in a cage I can never escape... that I built myself locked myself and threw away the key...
[KedarWolf] and no-one can find it...
[KedarWolf] just some feed me a bit, help me cope...
[KedarWolf] that’s all...
[MyFriend] well, just imagine finding the key and unlocking the door...if you can imagine the cage you can unlock it also
[MyFriend] <> I've ripped down a few walls of my own lately...
[KedarWolf] cant find what is lost and cant be found... especially if I am in the cage... and until someone finds the key and can get me out, well.... is a cage that can only be opened with the key, no other way.. very strong, magic, indestructible....
[MyFriend] just blow the damn thing up...hehe
[KedarWolf] I’m not asking you or anyone to look for the key.. or even find it.... I don’t care and hope not... I’m safe here...
[KedarWolf] but if I don’t get fed like some do I will die in it....
[KedarWolf] some feed me...
[MyFriend] <> its your cage, only you can leave it
[KedarWolf] I swear, god himself cant find the key yet.... just feed me until he or she does...
[KedarWolf] I’m locked in it...
[KedarWolf] how can I leave??
[MyFriend] <> you locked yourself in it
[MyFriend] <> so you will have to unlock it
[KedarWolf] I don’t have the key to unlock it.. no-one does... or can find it...
[KedarWolf] not even god....
[MyFriend] <> its scary out there...but better
[KedarWolf] the magic is so powerful even god cant open it...
[KedarWolf] he tries...
[KedarWolf] cant be done...
[KedarWolf] so he feeds me and sends other to help him feed me too...
[MyFriend] <> that is silly, if you can put yourself in there you can take yourself out
[KedarWolf] k....
[KedarWolf] someday I will...
[KedarWolf] when I have the key or someone finds it...
[KedarWolf] great blog stuff!!!!!!!!
[KedarWolf] thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[MyFriend] <> you can't expect others to do the work for you..
[KedarWolf] see my prose, our prose???
[KedarWolf] kewl, huh!!!!
[MyFriend] <> yup....
[KedarWolf] ya, but how do you get out of a cage you are locked in and have no way out or no key???
[MyFriend] <> blow it up, imagine the cage crumbling to bits...
[KedarWolf] can I blog our conversation if I take great care to not use your name or mention you in it in any way???
[MyFriend] <> sure :)
[KedarWolf] then I die with it..
[KedarWolf] I am a wolf...
[KedarWolf] cant survive that...
[KedarWolf] especially in a cage that powerful that god cant cut in to let me out, he has tried and still does...
[KedarWolf] the magic of the cage is that powerful..
[KedarWolf] blow the cage up or try, I die and the cage is still there...
[MyFriend] <> You are creating the magic, now create a spell to get out...
[KedarWolf] my magic is not that strong.... is there is no-one in the universe with magic that strong, not even god, how will my little magic work???
[17:11] its keeping you in there...
[MyFriend] anyone that has tried for reason good or bad has failed...
[17:11] it must be strong
[17:12] don't you see you created the cage
[KedarWolf] maybe there is reasons why the magic is so strong I can get out??? I mean is a being of the most Pure Love cant get me out, the magic must be strong and there for a reason...
[KedarWolf] ya..
[KedarWolf] I did...
[MyFriend] but I cant get out now and no-one else can either... get me out...
Note: not a plea to have her get me out, was trying fix what I thought was a typo. She is NOT the woman..
[MyFriend] <> so you must find the way out....no one else can do it for you
[KedarWolf] how do I escape a cage I am locked in with no key???
[KedarWolf] there is one person that can..
[KedarWolf] but she cant find the key either...
[KedarWolf or even be with me to try...
[KedarWolf] so...
[MyFriend] <> we all create walls, cages, call it what you will, the only way to get rid of them is through ourselves that have created them.
[KedarWolf] see what I just said..
[KedarWolf] until she finds the key and can be here to open the cage, I’m stuck here...
[KedarWolf] that could be a long time...
[MyFriend] <> you CANNOT expect someone else to do for you.
[KedarWolf] and no, its not you and I don’t mean you...
[KedarWolf] I don’t have a choice..
[MyFriend] <> lol, I know that
[KedarWolf] the key isn’t even close to the cage and is lost...
[KedarWolf] how can I get at what I cant get at...
[MyFriend] <> you created this monster, you can uncreate it
[KedarWolf] I believe there is only one who can find it and until she does, and can be here, I wait...
[KedarWolf] if I could I would...
[KedarWolf] but..
[KedarWolf] cant do what you cant do...
[KedarWolf] why do you think I am letting you feed me now???
[KedarWolf] that way I can be strong enough until she does come back with the key...
[KedarWolf] no-one can even be in the cage with me...
[KedarWolf] no way out, no way in...
[KedarWolf] so...
[KedarWolf] I’m hungry and let those feed me as I can...
[KedarWolf] that way I will be alive when she does come and not be a dead wolf in a cage...
[KedarWolf] is important to me I am alive when she finds me...
[KedarWolf] I love her and she does me....
[KedarWolf] cant let her open the cage to find me dead from starvation...
[KedarWolf] so..
[KedarWolf] sometimes I get fed well!!!!
[MyFriend] <> I just sent you another one of my poems....I have to go
[KedarWolf] sometimes I get angry or hurt and refuse the food and almost die...
[KedarWolf] sometimes no-one cares enough to feed me...
[KedarWolf] that’s all..
[KedarWolf] see yas!!!!! Note, I broke up in tears so left then...
[MyFriend] <> byes

I see someone dying

I have a friend. Not too close but I care. Has unknown medical problems. I research it.
Send her lots of great info that likely will help.

She has no energy. Doesn't follow through. Loses hope.

I check on her. She trusts me explicitly. My heart told me never to play her or flirt. I never have. Respect for a friend.

So, I see she needs help. I offer to buy phone card so I can call her and anyone that can help. I will try. She's falling in love. I have been nothing but beautiful, respectful, caring, compassionare and kind with her. It happens. I'm fond of her and feel her now. Love starts.

Do I walk away and let her die?

I'm not walking away. I refuse to let her die. I'l take that chance and I know me. I'll get attached and am. I'm getting in deep.

Then I think what is happening to the others I love. More then one, almost all said I was the only guy that loved them ever in the way they needed. That I loved them, adored them, understood, and am compassionate and kind. And they love me for this.

The only one they have that has Love that for them so far.

I'be been told this often, subtly, discreetly, and even in a full beautiful way.

Serious bad news.

I was honest about my friend that is sick and her eyes are getting really bad too.

I mean this is serious stuff, I think she lost her job.

But at least I still don't flirt and just treat her as a friend and am expecting alot of money today so I can buy the phone cards to try to help.

She's cool too and doesn't go there with me. That helps.

I have told her I love her as a friend and that iit might or might not go farther in the future but that's as far as I or we went.

Hope I can.

But I have to try, the docs she goes to just refuse to help her. She has told me this several times.

But, at his point if she is so sick and losing her eyesight now too, she told me this.

I don't know if my help is in time.

I honestly don't know what else to do and have no way to go where she lives but phone anyone I can to try to help.

I honestly think without medical help in her area she will die.

This is tearing me apart but I have no idea what I can do but phone everyone I can in case someone will try and might be able to help.

And now I wonder if she will make it anyways. She can't stay at her PC more then ten minutes her eyes get so bad.

Last thing I can do is spend all the time I can just trying to get her emergency help with the phone cards in her city.

She went to the Emergency Department two days go and they turned her away after she told them this and more.

This is seriously messed up way too bad.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

It's tuff

I don’t know how to explain this.

I don't even think I should admit it.

I'm not suicidal or am going to take my life.

But I honestly think the only thing that is keeping me alive is I promised to help my friend with unknown medical problems that are getting so bad I wonder if she will live too.

You know.

I know she is so alone too, has no-one who loves her and is falling in love with me.

I care for her very much. I think that she is not loved she is dying too.

Sometimes that loneliness and pain can be so bad that you just give up and die.

Without taking your own life.

I know, it was happening to me.

But.

I do care.